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Letting him know nicely, "To Step Up or Ship Out" !!!

Here are a few things to think about when contemplating the status of your current relationship. As straight women, there are certain qualities that we must look for in our men in order to maintain a healthy relationship. If you are feeling like your man isn't pulling his weight, this is the article for you!

1. You are not going to get any younger.

Think about you. You are never going to be younger than you are right now. At this very moment in time, you are getting older. Think about how you would like to spend your time, as it is extremely valuable! And doesn’t everyone always say that the time to be carefree and wild is while you are young?

2. People will support you.

Whether you want to believe it or not, your friends always have your back. They may seem a little hesitant on the guy of your choosing or a little iffy on the idea of your feelings, but once you make up your mind – they WILL support you. Because they love you. And they want you to be happy.

3. Whether good or bad, he deserves to know.

If you are trying to tell him something bad: He deserves to know.
If you are trying to tell him something good: He deserves to know.

You can’t keep leading him on, you can’t keep him in a relationship that is hurting you, and you can’t use him. But if it’s good, hey, maybe he feels the same way too. You’ll never know until you try communicating!

4. He might not feel the same way.

If you tell him how you genuinely feel about him, he might not reciprocate those feelings. That sucks. But in the long run – it is a darn good thing you found out. That way you can begin the mourning process.

5. It might explain why you’ve been acting so weirdly around him lately.

Been sending him an unusually large amount of “what are you up to tonight?” texts? How about the “oops wrong person!” (when you both know in fact you purposefully sent him that message in hopes of starting a conversation). How about the fact that you suddenly are dressing differently in hopes of running into him? He might be receiving the clues but not comprehending them. Telling him how you feel could fix all of that.

6. He will respect you for it.  

I cannot think of a single instance in which a guy has responded negatively to a girl's interest in him. Let’s face it – men can be self centered. They often think that they are the center of the universe (and who knows, maybe you think he is the center of the universe, too). The respect that I am referring to comes from a deeper level. They know how hard it is to “man-up” and tell someone how you feel. Therefore, they will understand that communicating so truthfully wasn't easy (by any standards). And even if your feelings aren’t matched, they know you meant them.

7. What is the worst that could happen?

He says no. He laughs in your face. If you were too timid to do it in person; suddenly getting texts from him makes your stomach turn. He may even be defensive and say that he was giving you all sorts of clues implying he was not in fact into you (which is likely not the complete truth). This may hurt, but remember that you have support from those that love you. If the defensive scenario comes to be, vent to your friends or try something new. Cliché as it sounds, there are plenty of fish in the sea and every experience lends itself to the opportunity to meet someone new and fantastic.

8. Dont send anything electronically that you may regret.

If you express yourself in a way that comes across as "bitchy" (pardon my french) via text or email, he then has the ability to save that piece of text and perhaps use it against you. He may even share that information with his friends. This goes for Text, FB, Twitter---Everything. But if you are the sweetheart that you claim to be, then he has nothing worth sharing. If he shares that information with his friends, he’s just going to look like an fool and will likely feel regret.

9. If his guy friends are your guy friends. 

Guy friends are totally into that whole, “hot chick digs my friend” kind of thing. And trust me, you. are. one. hot. female. And do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe you will even strengthen a relationship or two out of this situation. They may be completely supportive and help you get what you want. And those are the friends that stick through it all. Even if “Prince Charming” does not end up working out.


You are beautiful. You like him. If he doesn’t reciprocate, his. freaking. loss. And then you can both move on with your lives. If he does reciprocate, you have a budding romance on your hands and there is nothing more beautiful than that. Plus you have yourself to thank for it and that makes it all the more worth it!


Romella Battle


Distinguished as the founder and Executive Matchmaker of FeaturedDate® Matchmaking Agency, with over 10 years of guiding singles toward the love of their lives.

Location:  discovery bay, California

Last Active:  December 17, 2017 04:50 PM (EDT)

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