After raising three children, I began to explore what was next for me. This journey led me to life coaching. I am dedicated to supporting others on their journey of what might be next for them.
As a life coach, I often hear people say, “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.” I always think of one of my favorite movies, Pleasantville, when the mother says to her son “It’s not supposed to be like this,” and the son responds, “It’s not supposed to be anything.”
Life is not supposed to be anything, yet we somehow feel cheated when things don’t go our way. Here’s the exciting part: we can turn these disappointments into something extremely positive. We can learn to tell a new story.
We have all had it drilled into us that “it’s not about what happens to you in life, it’s about what you do with what happens.” We all know this, but do we really get it? How can we truly be at peace with the circumstances in our lives that are less than our ideal? How can we stop ourselves from living in what was supposed to be? Below, you’ll find some of my method and practices to resolving this internal battle.
How to remind yourself, Life Is Not Supposed To Be Anything!
- Acknowledge your thoughts and process them:
Don’t resist or bury your thoughts. However painful this may be, acknowledging what you are feeling is the first step to letting go.
Start to process all your thoughts by writing them down, meditating, or seeking professional help. All these methods allow you to really discover and express your frustrations, anger, and pain.
- Understand that this an obstacle that can be overcome:
The idea that things were not supposed to be “this way” simply means you are sad or disappointed about certain circumstances. What you expected and what you wanted did not happen. There will always be obstacles in your life. Those that can push through come out stronger on the other side.
- Change the narrative:
Nothing keeps us stuck more than telling ourselves the same story over and over. Listen to your self-talk. Someone once told me that if the voice in our heads was a little man standing on our shoulder, screaming those same thoughts in our ears, we would have him arrested! Make it a daily habit to acknowledge what you are thankful for. Make it a daily habit to think about the things that are in your control. You are the boss of the story you tell yourself about yourself.
- Chose what to learn from this:
Ask yourself: What have I learned? What lessons can I take away from this? Answer these questions and decide how this new understanding can help you move forward. Knowledge is power.
Imagine what your life would be like if you chose to live in the moment instead of lingering in your circumstances. As much as we wish this were true, life is not about one wonderful, happy, perfect moment after another. Life is (among many things) about the lessons we learn as we go and letting those lessons shape us. Never forget that disappointments are inevitable. Being at the mercy of them is a choice.